Ever since I was younger dealing with my weight was something that I struggled with a lot. As I have grown up, I have learned to love the way my body is, because if I don’t have confidence in myself who will?
When I was younger, I was always referred to as the chubby one, or as a majority of people called me ‘laddu’ (a round Asian sweet). Being called ‘laddu’ had the stigma that I was fat or as my mum liked to say I just had a lot of ‘puppy dog fat’. As time has gone on, my fad diets and mad gym sessions have dissolved this so called ‘puppy dog fat’.
I am a sucker for crazy diets and going to the extremes to achieve something which I don’t even know is attainable. Everyone around me would know the number of fad diets which I have tried (which is many). At the start of the year, I decided to join the craze of juice detoxes. Well, £200 invested and 1 juice in I realised I couldn’t do it. Laugh if you may, but it was vile, and it is not for the light-hearted; it was the stupidest thing I have ever spent my money on. If there was anything that I learnt from this experience was the fact that I love my food. Food to me is love, and it should never be abandoned or substituted.
As time has gone on, I have grown confidence in myself to have morning runs in my local park, go to the gym and attempt things I’ve never done before and more importantly detach myself from what people think. Your mental health sometimes is actually more important than your physical health when it comes to your overall relationship with the gym/fitness. I am no expert, but the moment you start loving yourself and living in a positive mindest only then, will you see the optimism in the things that you embark on.
Your body is yours, whether you love or hate it the one thing which no one can take away from you is that it is yours. I used to fret from going to the gym, or getting undressed infront of people now i do not care. I used to be that girl who would go in the cubicle to get changed or put a top on underneath a top, but now i have become the girl who gets naked wherever and whenever (I promise you, I am not weird). I have just learnt to love myself with every curve, stretch mark and impurity.
The gym for me has become my safe haven where I can go and release my stress. Some people like therapy, a cheeky glass of wine, but for me personally, I love going to the gym and working up a sweat. My latest craze at the moment is trekking 90 minutes a day to attend KOBOX classes and kicking some ass.
This year so far has been somewhat tough for me, I have graduated, therefore embarked on a journey into adulthood and am trying to pave my way as a professional in the media industry. No one ever said that it was going to be this hard, but one thing which I have learnt is to use the same attitude which I would give to a mega set of deadlifts to anything that I now do. The energy that you give out is the energy that you will get back.
The gym has now become an unhealthy addiction for me, from going two days a week, I now train almost six times a week; supported by a steady carb-free diet. Some of you may think that’s eccentric, but for me, I have found the right harmony which fits into my personal lifestyle and mindset.
My latest trend is drinking chia seed water, something which everyone says looks like fly eggs trapped in my bottle but to me after trying those juices this tastes and looks like bliss. I also have found a sense of harmony in listening to mindful podcasts focusing on women. I find them very motivating and am currently listening to ‘Becoming Michelle Obama.’
I now ask you whether you have found your harmony? Are you happy? If so, how can you make it better? For me, I need to learn that cheat days are okay! A spoon of Nutella is okay! I don’t see the point in depriving myself because life is way too slow to hate yourself like that. Everything is okay in moderation.
My advice to you all is, love yourself for what and who you are. Your body is beautiful as much as what your mind is, it is your temple and anyone else who you may permit. So look after it, treat it and protect it.