Five years ago, as I was turning 40, I asked myself a question:
If I reached the end of my life, what would I regret not doing?
I wrote a list. Then I started doing something about it.
I called it Project No Regrets.
Some of the things on that list were big. I wanted to travel more, climb mountains and have adventures. I wanted to stop waiting for someone else to be available before I did the things I wanted to do.
Since then, I’ve climbed Kilimanjaro, trekked to Everest Base Camp and had experiences I once thought I’d only ever dream about.
But recently, I’ve been thinking about the quieter things on my list.
The life I thought I’d missed
I always wanted to live, work and study in Central London.
I imagined walking to meetings, finding a favourite coffee shop, going out for dinner and waking up right in the middle of the city. I wanted to experience that London life for myself.
I didn’t do it when I was younger. Life took me elsewhere, and somewhere along the way I filed that dream under too late now.
Then I caught myself thinking: Who made that rule?
I don’t need to move house or enrol at a university to experience some of what I wanted. I can book an Airbnb in Central London, take my laptop, work from there and enjoy the city for a few days.
It won’t be the version of London life I imagined at 25. It will be mine at 45. And I’d quite like to find out what that feels like.
What have you quietly written off?
I know I’m not the only woman who has put a dream to one side because the timing didn’t work out.
Perhaps you wanted to study, change careers, travel alone, start a business or spend time somewhere new. Perhaps you still want to, but you’ve decided the moment has passed.
Life gets full. We build careers, care for families, support other people and keep things moving. It’s easy for something we wanted for ourselves to slip so far down the list that we stop mentioning it.
That doesn’t mean we have to chase every dream we ever had. We change, and some things no longer matter to us.
But if you think about one of those old dreams and still feel a little spark, I think it’s worth paying attention.
Start with one thing
Project No Regrets began with a list, but it has carried on through the choices I made afterwards. Some took planning and courage. Others were much simpler than I’d made them out to be.
So here’s a question for you:
What would you regret not doing?
Write down whatever comes to mind, big or small. Then choose one thing and ask yourself what a first step could look like now, with the life you actually have.
For me, right now, it looks like a few days in Central London with my laptop and no train home to catch.
I’m still adding to my list. And I’m still turning it into memories.
🎙️ I talk more about this in my solo podcast episode, “You Can Go Back for Things: My Project No Regrets.” Listen to the episode