The Partition Of India and Pakistan – Our Collective and Intergenerational Trauma is the price we pay for freedom.

Many reading this may be familiar with the partition of India and Pakistan in the year 1947, following the end of the 200 year British Raj (Rule). Many may not be as familiar with the devastation and tragedy which impacted the people of India, leading up to India’s Independence on the 15th of August, 1947. 

1947, Pre-Partition: Imagine being the wife of a farmer from Ballan, Jalandhar (Punjab, India) and going about your usual work which keeps you away from your home…at your second home in Sindh (now Pakistan). Your ancestral work of farming keeps you grounded and connected to Mother Earth. It enables you to reconnect with your ancestors every time you caress and engage with the soil and inhale its scent. It enables you to be connected with the godly Sun; which beams down on you on a hot summers’ day. You work collaboratively with your husband and daughter (who is a teenager). You come from a family where the roles of men and women are not so rigidly divided; you know how to farm. You do just that. You come from a faith that promotes that you stand side by side with your husband as his equal. You do just that. Being in your second home, you have left behind your other children (preadolescent daughter and son) with your sister-in-law; their second mother whom you trust and love. You occasionally travel back to Jalandhar on your cart, which can take several days, to see your beloved children…but actually, your second home has become your primary home where you spend a lot of your life. 

You enjoy your interactions with your neighbours in your second home. You feel a sense of connectedness with them and your anger towards the British Raj and the atrocities which befall your country are common conversation points. This feeling of oneness with your neighbours has taken decades, even centuries to merge. What lies beneath it is years of the trauma faced by your own ancestors in their sacrifices for Sikhi through martyrdom. You may feel close to your neighbours but there are boundaries that neither of you will cross due to your history and respective faiths. Your faiths keep you as ‘us’ and ‘them’ and the trauma of your ancestors lingers in your DNA. 

The news of the partition is not clear or well articulated to you. No one seems to know what is happening. Communication is poor. All you do know is that there may be a time that’s coming (sooner than you know) that will mean that your one country, where your ancestors souls still reside and your future generations are yet to come in to, will be divided into two parts. You are clear that your religion and belief as an Amritdhari (Baptised) Sikh means you will only be allowed (or welcomed) on one side of this divided border. Unfortunately for you, you are not told which side this is before the rebellion and violence begins. The violence which erupts because of your ‘us’ and ‘them’ divisions. The violence which becomes an explosive expression of all ancestral trauma suppressed in your own DNA; re-revealing the history which the faiths share that is more aligned to preserving ones own beliefs; even if this means death. 

You do not have enough time to escape. You do not have enough time to get yourself, along with your husband and daughter, back to the safety of your first home where your other children wait and ponder with hopeful eyes. These hopeful eyes watch the village road to see your footsteps turn the corner which leads to your home. They crave that motherly touch that only you can provide. They desire to feel the comfort of your embrace. Their ears yearn to hear your heartbeat in that moment that they rest against the breasts which fed them their first meal. Your only son, your baby, longs to find comfort in his mother’s lap and to be fed by his mother’s hands that one more time. 

You don’t make it.

You don’t make it because you are caught up in the violence and engrossed by the anger stemmed by human ego and beliefs of righteousness. Your husband has been killed and you and your daughter are separated. You have been cornered.  You know your only options are to be captured, raped and forcefully converted…or just raped and killed.

The more empowering option to you is to jump into that Well that is within foot reach. So you jump. Your women have carried the pride, honour and respect of your family for all the lifetimes gone before you.

This moment is a test for you in which you chose to do the same and sacrifice your life for your faith. After all, your ancestors had made the same sacrifices to ensure you could be who you were today. You draw on their courage and bravery to give you strength…it’s in your DNA, after all. Many other women follow suit and jump into the same Well after you; you become a martyr leader in your own right. 

Your daughter is also not able to reach safety and chooses to burn herself alive; carrying the same honour you do across the spiritual plane until you are reunited on the other side. You chose to destroy your bodies because you know your honour can still be tarnished after your death. So you chose to not let that even be an option and have a preference for such a violent and tragic end that will ensure your human remains are not even accessible after your demise.

Your life has taken, with you, the hopes and dreams of the children you leave behind and their stability; which parents as two pillars provide for them. It has left them with the trauma of your death. They are unable to ever speak about their parents again without a strained pain within their soul. Therefore, they go numb. They block out what has happened as it’s simply too terrifying and traumatising to speak about. They continue their lives, they get married, they have children and they have grandchildren. The part of them that died with you remains numb. The part of them that was unable to face and process the grief of losing you in a collective human atrocity remains numb. Thinking back to your existence and sacrifice brings up emotions of anger (masking the fear which resides beneath it all) and tears until the day they die. As their emotions numb, they turn to addiction. Addiction towards their other loved ones and a co-dependency of keeping them close. Addiction of food and comfort eating. Addiction towards drugs and alcohol. Addiction towards a religious lifestyle. Addiction of achieving and being successful. Whatever it may be that enables them to avoid feeling the feelings that come with thinking about your tragic and untimely departure. Burying those difficult emotions deep within and masking them with the addiction; which brings momentary relief and pleasure. 

The story above is of my great-grandmother – the beautiful Jeet Kaur Hothi. Working through ancestral healing, I am coming to terms with the level of collective trauma and intergenerational trauma we have faced. I sit here today in the UK with a British Asian upbringing wondering how I’ve ever made it, given where we have come from. The intergenerational trauma is so subtle and unconscious that we do not even know that we may be numb. We have inherited a pattern which refrains us from expressing difficult emotions and prefers to keep them buried inside.

We do not know that the traumas our ancestors have faced now impact our ability to build and sustain meaningful relationships after we feel betrayed. We struggle with the concept of forgiveness and we rebel when there are attempts to control us. 

Up until recently, I was numb when I spoke to others about my great-grandmothers story. Numbness is a common symptom of suppressed trauma. Now that I am able to connect with it more; there is a strong anger that emerges when I’m faced with the truth that my great-grandmother suffered because she was a woman. She suffered because she carried the responsibility of shame, respect and honour on her shoulders. This meant her options were bleak in the horrendous situation which she faced, and her choices limited.

We learn from her.

We no longer wish to carry the burden of the family’s honour, respect or shame on our shoulders. We are the generation that is saying ‘enough is enough’ – we have sacrificed enough, and it stops here! We are the women who have found our voice.

The partition affected millions of people and thousands of families. We are a collectively traumatised society that has not and is still not able to fully process the horrendous infliction of brutality from one human being to another during this partition; which was the same whether you were a Sikh, Hindu or Muslim making that transition across that border. What we inherit is the numbness, the prejudice and the bias (which may be unconscious) that seers underneath towards those that we believe caused the harm. It’s in our DNA; thanks to epigenetic inheritance. 

We must find a way to heal in order to release ourselves and our ancestors. We can heal through understanding the trauma, processing the emotions and the pain for our ancestors and grandparents. We can put a stop to the trauma continuing and reduce its impact on the future generations by healing ourselves psychologically, emotionally, physically and spiritually. This will help the future generations to break away from behavioural patterns that will not serve them; whether this be addiction, lack of forgiveness or an inability to express emotions in a healthy way. 

Ways in which one can begin to work through collective and intergenerational trauma; 

• Understand your story.
  • Who were your ancestors? 
  • What are the collective traumas that sit within your history?

You can explore your history and create your own narrative based on historical truths (rather than myths) through conversations, reading books and articles, or watching films and documentaries related to your ancestry. 

• Access professional help. Personal therapy is an incredibly powerful tool which can be used to process, understand and express emotions that are not always easy to access. 
• Every culture/religion will have a way in which it either remembers or connects with its ancestors. Respect them, appreciate them and thank them in your own way. This may be simply by leaving flowers on their grave or lighting a candle for them every Sunday whilst reciting a prayer. 
• Connect with the divine; whatever that may mean to you. If we can understand the oneness that exists amongst human beings, we may find a way to work through and overcome the prejudices and biases that divide us and keep us suffering as a human race. 

This blog is dedicated to all those that have endured discrimination or suffering as a result of who they are or what they believe. It is also dedicated to all women, everywhere…may we all find our voice. 

The purpose of this blog was never to offend anyone but simply to share our truth. Thank you for reading! 

Key definitions and references

Trauma: An event that overwhelms the central nervous system, altering the way in which we can process and recall memories. It is an imprint of the pain, horror and fear living inside people. (Reference: Bessel van der Kolk, Psychiatrist). You can read more about trauma symptoms in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 

Collective Trauma: A traumatic psychological affect shared by a group of people. This can lead to collective sentiments being harnessed/expressed with emotions including shock, fear and denial. Suppression or blockage of emotions is also common (numbness). (Reference: Thomas Hübl) 

Intergenerational Trauma: Transgenerational or intergenerational trauma is a psychological term which suggests that trauma can be transferred between generations.
A traumatic event that began years prior to the current generation and has impacted ways in which individuals within a family understand, cope with and heal from trauma (Reference: The Association for Child and Adolescent Mental Health)

Epigenetic Inheritance: When tags remain as genetic information and get passed down generation to generation via DNA; including ancestral wounds such as trauma. (Reference: Centre of Excellence, Ancestral Healing Diploma) 

Prejudice: Any attitude held towards a person or group that is not justified by the facts (Source: Oxford Dictionary). 

Unconscious Bias: ‘The moment we set eyes on someone, we begin to form an impression of them that is based on the colour of their skin, gender or even their name’. (Source: www.pearnkandola.com) 

Author: Yadveer Kaur.