My understanding of therapy was that it was for people who have no one to really talk to, people who have no real friends, or no real confidence to express themselves…. So why would I need therapy as I have good friends and the confidence to speak?
Therapy for me was a waste of time, effort and money because I reminisced about the past trauma, poured my heart out and gathered myself as much as possible before the hour session ran out. Then what? I was meant to ‘be ok’ because I got to talk and have a cry?!
No… unfortunately, therapy for me meant picking old wounds and aggravating painful memories to resurface again…
However, several weeks ago, during a group zoom call, I came across Gursharan, a life coach.
We had a healthy debate, which led to a private chat, which then in turn resulted in myself booking coaching sessions with her.
My sessions with Gursharan came at a fairly critical point as I was sinking into some dark thoughts.
After a few sessions, during one particular session, we agreed to work on ‘releasing the suppressed emotions’.
She gently guided me into meditation whilst emphasising the fact that I was ‘safe’ in this present moment. I was then directed to think back to any traumatic memory that came up for me during the meditation.
As an individual who has often felt emotional pain in my throat, chest and my stomach, it was a little surprise when I felt the memory trigger emotions in my throat.
Normally I would try to strangle myself, hit or try to rip my heart out of my chest, dig my nails into my stomach. Other times I would pull my hair or punch my head repeatedly. This was the ‘normal’ for me when dealing with emotions in my body.
Our session was intense, I struggled to breathe as I reconnected to the trauma, my tears were flowing uncontrollably and my body was shaking. Gursharan asked if I’d like to stop, but I decided to continue as I had total faith in her and knew she will handle me.
In just that one session, Gursharan taught me a new way of dealing with these emotions – instead of fighting it by attacking myself, to gently give myself love and healing.
This was a very strange concept for me, but one which opened my mind up to how cruel I have been to myself all these years. My body, my mind, my heart, my soul all need that one divine energy… SELF LOVE!
The following day, I developed a rash JUST around my neck – the area where I had experienced the intense emotions. This was no coincidence and this was my body finally releasing the trapped and suppressed emotions!!
The right Coach with the right understanding, the right attitude, the right energy, the right techniques and the right reasons as to why they do what they do…DOES HELP!
Coaching helped me ❤️
I am aware of how asking for help often makes people feel uneasy because it requires surrendering control to someone else, or coming across as needy. However I don’t feel anyone should dismiss therapy like I had.
Here are my tips to find the right therapist or Coach for you:
1. Do your research to work out is it therapy that you need or Coaching? Do research on the therapist and Coach, in addition to their styles of working and what they offer.
2. Seek a referal from someone you trust, a doctor, friend or colleague if it is for therapy. If you are looking for a Coach, see if you feel a connection with them.
3. Look for experience in the field that you need support in.
4. Ask for a free consultation first to discuss their services and offers before you commit to the sessions.
5. Think about your goals ahead of the sessions and discuss what outcomes you are looking for in your consultation.
Kiran works for the Metropolitan Police and is a volunteer for her community. You can connect with her directly on her email
Disclaimer: The views reflected in this blog are personal to the author’s and not necessarily reflective of AWMB.