The Words We Never Say But Should by Amerdeep S

We think we have all the time in the world. In reality, we only have this moment. So, I am choosing to express my gratitude now. I am dedicating this piece to my twin brother as a birthday gift. Siblings are precious gifts, and I am blessed to do this thing called life with you. (Don’t worry, I will actually give you a real gift too!). 

Twinne, do you know you are one of the most inspiring people I know? Your happy, carefree, be in the moment attitude to life is infectious. Your dedication to living your dream and your belief in yourself, beautiful to witness. 

My brother was and still is, one of those annoying, innocent looking people. I was the one who got told off growing up. Everyone loved him. They still do. I have never met a person who doesn’t like him. He is that person who is likeable and sociable. In comparison, I’m the De Vito twin to his Schwarzenegger twin. We are like fire and water.

Mum would always say I don’t know where you came from. That’s me by the way, not my twin. I was the fire of course; he was the water. He was the calm one, I was the not so calm one. I don’t think I’ve ever met anybody who ever said a bad word about him. Except my mum of course. However, mums?! Am I right?!

In my mother’s defence though, we didn’t exactly have a smooth arrival into life. She was already the mother of two children and was running her own business. It was the 80s. She was in a typically Indian marriage where your husband and in-laws told you what to do. They said jump, you said how high. She couldn’t do anything without their permission.  

Mum always said her pregnancy with us was different. However, nobody believed her. Let’s just take a second to have a think about that, even though this isn’t about my mum. Imagine feeling something isn’t right and no one believes you. She’s expecting one child. Apparently, there weren’t scans at that time. She goes into labour. Out pops one child. She says to the doctors, something isn’t right. They check and 5 minutes later, Ta Dah! Here I am! I make my presence known in the world. Where there was supposed to be one, there were 2. Instead of 3 children, my mum now had 4!

She said my dad was happy, running around the hospital telling everyone. My older brother and sister were happy. They had one of each. It probably felt like Christmas to them. Except for my mum. In all of this, I wonder if anyone checked in with her and how she was adjusting. In any case, this is about my brother not my mum. So, I’ll leave that there. Sorry mum. 

There are numerous stories of how naughty my brother and I were together. How we fought but also didn’t want to be without the other. There are also many stories of how naughty I was, in particular. If you ask me, I’d say my younger self was scrappy and resourceful. I was small and retaliated via any method available. One valuable life lesson one learns young with siblings is, it is a dog-eat-dog world. You must learn how to defend yourself and be quick. Whenever there is the last of something you grab it. Quick. Like the last chocolate, get in there or you’ll miss out.

People wouldn’t know what Twinnie has achieved because he thinks it’s nothing. He has built a business from scratch, facing a ton of adversity, whilst still maintaining a joyous commitment to enjoy all of life. 

A number of years ago Twinnie was doing a regular job. He made the decision with his friend to set up a business. He learnt the trade, whilst working full time. He worked 7 days a week. They overcame family ill health, their own ill health, time, Covid, doubters. Not to mention any start up issues they may have had. 

From an idea to humble beginnings and sticking to their goals consistently, a dream became reality. He said he was going to do it and he did. Preferring to show people through action what he was about.

There were naysayers who said that running your own business was risky. It wasn’t a good idea and he should stick to a regular job. He stuck to his goal and never once came off his path. He is now running a successful business, by anyone’s standard.

Life tested him, it tested us as a family. Numerous times. He kept his focus. He kept calm and always carried on, one step in front of the other. In fact, one of the things he always said to me was ‘you can do it!’. He would say it in his matter-of-fact way. He has been my biggest cheerleader when it comes to my writing. Always saying to me ‘you can do it’! Believing in me more than I believed in myself, at times. I hope everyone has someone like this in their lives and if not, then hold the wisdoms of Twinnie close to your heart. ‘You can do it’.

Just for the record, my brother isn’t like me. He doesn’t obsessively read or listen to authors, look at meditation, mindfulness or any of the other motivational, be in the present stuff. His only influences in life apart from me, obviously, are Bruce Lee, Rocky and Del-Boy. 

I always thought our childhood would have been awful without the other. Lonely. However, we always had each other. No matter what. 

Goodness in a person is like sunshine. It’s a ripple effect that spreads out and touches all in their presence. Thank you for being that person Twinnie. 

*His name is Amrit not Twinnie. Also, this is not a sales pitch but if after reading this, you are curious about his business, it is @noirdotdesign. You can find them online, Instagram and Etsy. 

Amerdeep is currently healing mind and body from chronic pain and trauma, via various methods (doing a very good job of it!). Amerdeep is committed to living authentically and inspiring people through her words.  She is trained in various healing modalities. You can find out more at @amerdeeps @dipscribes.