Last week was a heavy week. If we are connected on social media you will have seen this hashtag #breakthestigma4nima.
Nima was a beautiful Indian mother who was suffering from Postpartum Depression, the pain became too much for her and she ended her life by suicide.
This story broke my heart. And it’s also uncomfortably close to home.
I experienced postnatal depression after giving birth to Sahib in 2017. It’s not something I talked about openly at the time. Very few close family members and friends knew. I felt too ashamed, guilty and embarrassed to admit it. I couldn’t believe that I with my degree in Psychology and having spent 15 years motivating, empowering others had been hit with this.
It was soul destroying.
But I managed to shift it by treating the cause and addressing the symptoms. There is help and there are many resources, approaches and people that can help. Please do not suffer in silence.
These words from Nima are haunting me “It was something you guys wouldn’t understand because the Indian society does not fully understand postpartum depression.” I think if more women spoke about their experiences we can shift the stigma, the shame and help each other to overcome this. I did an Instagram live of my experiences with PND and how it was healed – it can be viewed here.
I have spoken about my PND before but always behind closed doors and where I felt safe…one of the reasons for this is I’m very conscious of my son one day reading about this experience and I never want him to think it was his fault.
The signs of PND can vary woman to woman, and include:
- a persistent feeling of sadness and low mood
- lack of enjoyment and loss of interest in the wider world
- lack of energy and feeling tired all the time
- trouble sleeping at night and feeling sleepy during the day
- difficulty bonding with your baby
- withdrawing from contact with other people
- problems concentrating and making decisions
- frightening thoughts – for example, about hurting your baby
My experience was mainly a persistent, overwhelming feeling of sadness and a lack of energy.
Having come out of the other end I now have a more holistic view of my PND. This was something that I had to go through to make sense of many things in my life, my one question constantly through that time was “what are you here to teach me?”. And teach me it did.:
Compassion. Empathy. Self belief. Boundaries. The power of our thoughts and emotions. Humanity. Love.
It led to the Ignite Workshop. The resurrection of AWMB. Elevate Coaching Programme. Inspire Monthly Club. Anyone that has been touched by anything that has come out of this platform since 2018 is a direct result of my experience with PND.
I hope that gives hope to others – there is light, there is faith and better days are never too far away.
Here are some generic ideas may help set a solid foundation for your medical treatment plan, and could help speed recovery:
- Maintain a healthy lifestyle. Add gentle exercise into your daily routine. For example, take a walk with your baby. Try to get adequate rest, and eat healthily.
- Have realistic expectations. You’re adjusting to having a new baby, so don’t put pressure on yourself for everything to be perfect.
- Make time for yourself. Organise someone to care for your baby, and have some me-time. Leave the house, and do something relaxing that you enjoy.
- Connect with others. Feeling isolated can be a problem for some new mums. Talk to your loved ones about how you’re feeling, and speak to other mums about their experiences.
- Share the load. Your loved ones will often be happy to help out. Sometimes all it takes is just to ask! This time off will give you a chance to have some much-needed breathing room.
- Keep going. Follow your GP or health visitor’s advice, but don’t stop treatment simply because you ‘feel better’, as this may lead to a relapse.
There are some great organisations that can help: