I was interviewed for this series and one of the questions was “What Is The Best Advice You Have Been Given?”
I have had, as you can imagine lots of great advice and support over the years from incredible mentors, coaches and guides. This has helped my business, my career and my life but there is one advice that has surpassed them all and that I hold onto as my guiding principle.
BE YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF
Authentic is defined as: “not false or copied; genuine; real.” And “representing one’s true nature or beliefs; true to oneself or to the person identified.”
It is so easy to get caught in the comparison trap, to see what others are doing and want to be like them. Being your authentic self can feel too risky in our screen-obsessed world. As humans beings we are designed to want to fit in, be liked, and be accepted by others. As a result, often what we portray have become images of who we think we should be and not reflections of who we really are.
So how do we take off the mask we’ve been wearing and start to live our authentic lives? Here are my 3 top tips:
Explore your values. Integrity, morals, and living our values is an effective way to live more authentically. The trouble comes when we are so far from our Authentic Selves that we do not even know what our values are. Ask yourself what are my top values and does my life reflect this? Am I walking my talk?
Identify discrepancies. Try to become aware of discrepancies between your actions and your beliefs. If you catch yourself making certain comments, ask yourself whether you really believe the words you speak. Are you just saying these things because someone else taught you to or because of the company you are in?
Release patterns and beliefs that no longer serve you. When you do come across a thought, emotion, or action that doesn’t represent your Authentic Self, work on letting it go. Visualisation is a great tool for this. You can place the thought, emotion, or action within a bubble or a balloon and let it rise until it disappears. Or if you are more hands-on, you can write it on a piece of paper, cross it out, and crumple up the paper—a physical action that helps your subconscious understand your intentions.
Many years ago I read this incredible book by Bronnie Ware “Regrets Of The Dying” . She worked in palliative care. Her patients were those who had gone home to die and she was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. She spoke with them and found there were 5 most common regrets. The top regret?
“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
I think that is hugely profound. Live a life that is true to you and not others or you will regret it. it is absolutely possible!